‘Some English people alright when you get to know them’ admits Nicola Sturgeon
Posted on 2nd April 2017 at 21:11
SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon had admitted that, to her surprise, some English people are actually ‘alright when you get to know them’. Sturgeon made the comment during an interview with The Scotsman newspaper this morning.
Sturgeon explained that she had met an English couple whilst dining at a Glasgow restaurant, and was surprised to discover that they ‘weren’t completely horrible’. She noted that at no point did they attempt to attempt to eat any of the other guests, nor did they start ‘ripping up floorboards looking for oil to steal’. Sturgeon added that ‘in many respects’ the English couple were ‘almost human’, explaining that from certain angles ‘you could only see the faintest outlines of their forked tails’.
Sturgeon’s admission has been shared by a number of other SNP members. James Douglas, an SNP supporting retail manager from Dundee, told us that when he was recently ordered by his boss to cross the border to Carlisle ‘I thought I’d had it’. James explained that before the trip he’d taken out a ‘generous life insurance policy’, and kissed his wife and children goodbye ‘one final time’. However to his surprise he was able to complete the trip without being ritually sacrificed, and the most traumatic event was an English shopkeeper being reluctant to accept a Scottish £10 note.
However Sturgeon’s remarks were contradicted by her predecessor as SNP leader, Alex Salmond, who continues to insist that ‘the English can never be alright period’. Salmond explained that whilst some English people might ‘seem nice’ it’s almost certainly ‘a devious trick’, and his advice remains to contact the emergency services immediately if you think you’ve seen an English person.
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