Hard-line Brexit supporters have been urged to ‘get on and paint your passports blue’ if it ‘bothers you so bloody much’. The call, from sensible people across the UK, is in response to the campaign from some Brexit enthusiasts for Britain to readopt the old blue coloured passports after we leave the EU. 
The campaign for blue passports is being led by the Daily Telegraph newspaper, whose editor claims that its ‘hard to reach a state of arousal’ whilst viewing ‘one of those horrible foreign looking red passports’. The paper argues that reintroducing the historic blue passport would help to ‘restore British national pride’, as well as ‘relieve swollen British testicles’. 
Brexit supporters across the UK have been answering the paper’s call, and that of its sensible critics, by dabbing their passports in blue paint. Mr and Mrs Pennock, a couple of UKIP supporters from Wiltshire, told The Spark that they have already ‘painted every page’ of their passports blue ‘to show just how patriotic we are’. They admitted this means their passports are no longer ‘legally valid documents’, but as they’ve heard that ‘quite a few foreigners live abroad’ they had no intention of leaving the country anyway. 
Key Brexit campaigners have admitted that the return of blue passports is just the first step in their plan to ‘return Britain to the 1950s’. Other policies under consideration include recommissioning the Royal Yacht Britannia, the promotion of imperial measurements and less controversially the complete reconstruction of the British Empire. 
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