Author: @JBickertonUK 
 
The Daily Mail newspaper has announced that it is continuing its anti-EU campaign by asking its readers to crowdfund the firing of ballistic missiles at Brussels. The revelation was made in today’s edition of the paper, with an editorial urging Daily Mail readers to give ‘as much as they can afford’ to a special missile purchasing fund. 
The editorial explained that whilst Brexit is ‘a good first step’ it fails to ‘fully reflect our loathing for the EU’. In particular the editorial noted that Brexit had ‘so far failed to spill any European blood’ adding ‘blood, we need to see blood’. 
 
Daily Mail sources have revealed that so far the response from their readers has been ‘phenomenal’, with readers selling luxury items and remortgaging their homes to contribute to the fund. One Daily Mail reader, Sally Jones from Kent, told us that she had sold both of her kidneys to add to the fund, explaining that her ‘imminent and excruciatingly painful death’ is a ‘small price to pay for getting to fire missiles at Europe’. 
 
However for other Mail readers the scheme doesn’t go far enough. Brian Williams, an IT consultant from Suffolk, told The Spark that he ‘can’t see why we have to wait for some fund before attacking Europe’. He added that he’s started driving down to Dover each weekend to throw rocks at France, and is convinced that ‘one of these days I’ll score a hit’. 
Share this post: