Author: @JBickertonUK 
 
Former Chancellor George Osborne has announced that he has taken on a 26th job as an Uber driver, but insists that, as with his other jobs, this won’t interfere with his work as an MP. Osborne announced the news on Friday afternoon, just hours after it was discovered that he’d been appointed Editor of the London Evening Standard newspaper. 
Osborne explained to journalists that his plan is to work for Uber during the night, whilst he edits the Evening Standard and continues working for international banking giants during the day. When asked if he’d left time for sleep Osborne replied ‘shit I’d forgotten about that’, and his response was exactly the same when asked if he’d still have time to serve his constituents. 
 
However Osborne quickly regained his composure, and insisted that his Tatton constituents wouldn’t mind and that they ‘realise what a great honour and privilege’ it is ‘to have me as their MP’. He added that he was ‘on the lookout for more work’, and has an interview for a junior managerial position at a North London KFC branch first thing on Monday morning. 
 
At this point Osborne was distracted by a man putting a £1 coin into a nearby vending machine, and started staring intently at the coin whilst muttering ‘look at the shiny shiny’. After a while it became clear that he wasn’t going to regain his composure, and the assembled journalists departed. 
Share this post: