Government urges Tony Blair to back ‘social ills’ to make them less popular
Posted on 17th February 2017 at 23:25
The British Government has officially requested that former Prime Minister Tony Blair endorse a range of ‘social ills’ in order to discredit them by association.
The British Government has officially requested that former Prime Minister Tony Blair endorses a range of ‘social ills’ in order to discredit them by association. Downing Street has confirmed that they’ve asked Blair to publically defend ‘smoking, alcohol & drug abuse, violent crime and prostitution’ in the hope of making these activities ‘considerably less socially acceptable’.
Government insiders revealed to The Spark that they were impressed by Blair’s ability to ‘undermine any cause he associates himself with’ such as opposing Jeremy Corbyn as Labour leader and campaigning for a second referendum on Britain’s EU membership. As such they decided that he should be able to use the same ‘talent’ to discourage anti-social behaviour.
Our sources explained that the Government was hoping to use Blair in a series of public information films. These films will show Blair ‘smoking, drinking and committing petty vandalism’. The films will end with Blair encouraging viewers to replicate these acts, and claiming that doing so will result in them getting a girlfriend ‘within 45 minutes’.
When contacted Blair’s private office confirmed that he had received the offer, and reported that he was ‘delighted’ to have finally found a way his unpopularity can serve his country.
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