Labour agrees to Trump state visit after being told he’s a former IRA commander
Posted on 21st February 2017 at 16:45
The Labour leadership has agreed to support Trump’s state visit to the UK after senior Government figures persuaded them that he’s actually a former IRA commander.
The Labour leadership has agreed to support Trump’s state visit to the UK after senior Government figures persuaded them that he’s actually a former IRA commander. Labour sources have revealed that senior party figures, especially leader Jeremy Corbyn and Shadow Chancellor John McDonald, were initially ‘horrified’ at the invitation to Trump as they thought he was the ‘bigoted President of America’.
However after being assured by the Government that Trump is in fact a ‘former senior commander’ from the IRA terrorist group Corbyn and McDonald dropped their objections, and are now supporting the ‘fullest possible’ state visit. Both men are reportedly ‘very much looking forward to meeting’ Trump, and are planning to honour him with lifetime membership of the Labour Party. They are keen for the visit to go ahead as soon as possible, and that it includes ‘a full and lengthy meeting with The Queen’.
MacDonald is reportedly keen to give Trump a ‘personal tour’ of London, focusing on sites which had been ‘previously blown up by the IRA’. He is also keen to discuss ‘dealing with internal dissidents’, an ongoing problem for the Labour leadership, with a particular focus on ‘the effectiveness of knee-capping’.
Government sources have revealed that if the visit is a success ‘future controversial leaders’ could be brought to the UK under the pretext that they come from terrorist groups, in order to secure the Labour leaderships support.
When contacted by The Spark a Government press officer declined to comment, before hanging up the phone to howls of laughter.
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