Author: @JBickertonUK 
 
The Walker family, who live at Number 25 Hertford Street, Swindon, have announced their intention to hold a referendum on independence from the United Kingdom. The family, who all voted ‘Remain’ in last June’s Brexit referendum, have accused Theresa May’s Conservative Government of attempting to ‘drag us out of the EU against our will’. 
Carpenter Steven Walker, who lives in the house with his wife and two children, told us that 25 Hertford Street is ‘economically dependent’ on Europe, as he sells a lot of his products to the continent. He explained that he is ‘deeply concerned’ about the impact that loss of European Single Market access would have on his business, adding that he is also worried about what Brexit will mean for the Polish nanny the family employs. 
 
Steven’s wife Caroline echoed these sentiments, adding that the people of 25 Hertford Street had long been ‘exploited and ill-treated’ by the surrounding English, explaining that she was particularly angered by the British Government’s decision to store its Trident nuclear weapons programme on the property. Caroline added that her ‘research suggests’ that there could be an oil field holding several thousand barrels of oil below the property, and that as a result she planned to lead the ‘Yes’ campaign in the forthcoming referendum using the slogan ‘it’s Number 25 Hertford Street’s oil’. 
 
The British Government has so far refused to sanction a referendum on Number 25 Hertford Street independence, asserting that they won’t do so until Brexit negotiations are complete. A senior British Government source admitted to The Spark that they are ‘nervous’ that a referendum in 25 Hertford Street could trigger demands for independence referendums from other parts of the United Kingdom, such as Number 18 Barkley Road in Sunderland or Flat 89 of Masons Tower Block in Croydon. 
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