It’s been revealed that former Prime Minister David Cameron is currently working as an unpaid intern. 
The Spark understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will be impersonating the Queen during Donald Trump’s forthcoming state visit to the UK. 
The Labour Party has announced that it’s launching an armed wing in what analysists are interpreting as a final desperate attempt to remain politically relevant. The announcement was made in a video by a number of members of the Shadow Cabinet, clearly identifiable despite wearing balaclavas, which was posted on the Labour Party website on Thursday. 
Foreign Office officials are reportedly struggling to convince Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson that the British Empire no longer exists. Speaking on condition of anonymity a senior Foreign Office source told The Spark that Boris ‘is absolutely convinced we still have the empire’ and that ‘nothing we say will persuade him it’s gone’. 
The Labour Party today released a video of party leader Jeremy Corbyn repeatedly waterboarding a puppy, in what has been widely interpreted as an attempt to boost his popularity following a series of disastrous opinion polls. 
Anti-racism campaigners have called on Hamas, the Palestinian terrorist group, to disassociate itself from the UK Labour Party to avoid ‘lasting reputational damage’. 
It’s been revealed that the Queen herself has signed the petition calling for Donald Trump’s invitation to come to the UK on a state visit to be withdrawn.