In a surprise move the Mexican Government has agreed to pay for Trump’s proposed border wall, but only on the condition that he builds the entire structure himself. 
The announcement was made by Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto at a press conference in Mexico City. Nieto admitted that his Government wasn’t keen to fund the wall, but realised they would be performing a ‘service to humanity’ if building the wall by hand distracted Trump from utilising his power at American President. 
Nieto went on to explain that by his Government’s analysis it would take Trump ‘around 57 years’ to construct the wall unaided, which would ‘severely reduce the amount of damage he is able to inflict on humanity’. He also noted that it would give the people of Mexico ‘great pleasure’ to witness Trump working as a labourer for multiple years. In particular Nieto stated that as part of the deal Trump must ‘work till his hands bleed’, and have ‘absolutely no access to health care’. 
However some analysts have argued that the border wall could be useful for Mexico. Professor Gates from the University of Texas told The Spark that it could help the Mexican Government regulate the flow of ‘millions of American refugees’, should the Trump administration attempt to implement some of its ‘more radical policies’. 
So far the White House has failed to respond to our request for comment on this development. Off the record a White House source told us they are ‘currently extremely busy’ as they’ve spent the last couple of days ‘trying to teach Trump how to pronounce the word ‘evolutionary’’. 
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