Posts from February 2017

Donald Trump has reportedly been finding that he has a ‘lot less time to write poetry’ following his inauguration as American President. 
President Trump has admitted that the real reason he hates the press is that whilst he was at college ‘a journalist stole my girlfriend’. 
White House staffers are reportedly becoming ‘completely fed up’ with having to eat President Trump’s home baking. 
It’s been revealed that executives for the hit Netflix show House of Cards are ‘desperately trying to hire’ the scriptwriters of the 2016 Presidential election. 
Leaked emails have revealed that Donald Trump’s team are already planning for his third term as President. 
It’s been reported that the Statue of Liberty, the iconic symbol of freedom based in New York Harbour, has been shot down whilst attempting to flee Donald Trump’s America. 
It’s been reported that Russian hackers, who have broken into President Trump’s personal email account, are struggling to read the President’s messages as they find them ‘utterly incomprehensible’. 
Immigrants across America have reported feeling much more confident about their English language proficiency, after comparing their ability with that of newly inaugurated President Trump. 
Newly inaugurated President Trump has started wondering where his predecessor, President Obama, hid all the White House toilet paper. 
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. 

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