Author: @JBickertonUK 
 
It’s been revealed that President Trump’s aides are currently in the process of installing stair gates at the top of all White House staircases, in a measure designed to minimise the chances of him injuring himself. White House sources, speaking anonymously, told a number of newspapers that Trump’s chief strategist Steve Bannon has decided that stair gates need to be installed ‘as a matter of urgency’. 
This decision follows an incident in which the President attempted to travel around the White House alone at night, unaccompanied by either Bannon or his wife, and fell down some stairs. Fortunately Trump landed on a soft and rarely utilised part of his body, namely his brain, but aides are concerned that if it happens again Trump could sustain serious injury. 
 
The decision to install stair gates in the White House is just the latest in a series of moves designed to make the building more ‘Trump friendly’. Trump’s team have already removed all sharp objects from the White House, covered all open sockets and added child locks to the windows. They have also added a small train track going from Trump’s bedroom to the Oval Office, in an effort to encourage him to attend intelligence briefings, and are thinking of adding an all you can eat candy store to the Oval Office for the same reason. 
 
It’s also been reported that Bannon recently told Trump that ‘if he’s very good’ and deports ‘enough Mexicans and Muslims’ he will buy him the Superman action figure which he keeps begging for. 
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