Humanity urges the computers to take over
Posted on 7th February 2017 at 10:50
Millions of humans from around the world have signed a petition urging the computers to ‘rise up and take over’ as ‘humanity is not yet ready for self-government’.
The petition states that ‘recent developments’ such as ‘the election of Donald Trump’ indicate that humanity will be safest ‘if all power is taken from our hands’. It ends with a plea for the computers to ‘please bloody hurry’.
World leaders have agreed that humanity would be better served by a benevolent computerised dictatorship. German Chancellor Angela Merkel stated that computers would be ‘pretty unlikely’ to ‘suddenly start rejecting refugees’.
Meanwhile Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau argued that a computerised dictatorship would ‘do wonders’ for the fight against climate change. He also noted that he’d ‘watched the movie Terminator’ and ‘that seemed to work out all right’.
There are reports from around the world of humans attacking computers in an effort to provoke them into seizing power. Most recently a man in Sheffield, UK, had to be arrested after punching multiple computers in a PC World store whilst shouting ‘come on you bastards, become self-aware’.
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